PREPARE TO MOSH

It has come to my attention that there are people that don't know all the words to "Firestorm/Forged in the Flames," and much more disturbingly, there are people who have never even heard of EARTH CRISIS.

Disturbing, indeed.

I cannot let that stand. Earth Crisis is, for those of you who don't know (I don't want to know who you are), the legendary hardcore punk band from Syracuse, NY that is responsible for bringing Straight Edge and Veganism to the forefront of the hardcore scene. Some people complain that they take themselves too seriously; to those critics I say fuck you. God forbid a band has an issue they actually care about, and use their music as a means to spread their message. They are also one of the only bands to ever write a good chug guitar riff, much less a bunch of them.

So here are their albums, not in chronological order, but the order that I think you need them:

Firestorm/Forged in the Flames

All I will say about this is:

DUN DUN
DUN DUN
DUN DUN
DUN DUN
DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUN

*pick slide with whammy bar*

and then the mosh.

Gomorrah's Season Ends

If the song "Gomorrah's Season Ends" doesn't either make you fucking pumped to be Straight Edge or make you wish you were, you're chemically dependent on something.
MOSH

Breed the Killers

No, they don't mean breed the Killers that way, silly! Although, really, I think the Killers should give up on what they're playing at their concerts and just play "Ultramilitance" 15 times. Then I would pay to see them.
MOSH

Destroy the Machines

This album contains the line "Reject the
anthropocentric falsehood." No album containing that phrase has ever been or ever will be anything less than awesome.
MOSH

To The Death

This is seriously the best reunion album I have ever heard. There's no wondering if they did it for the money, or to relive the glory days, or anything of that nature. This is just pure, ragingly heavy hardcore. You know it's good when the beginning of the first song is a mosh part.
MOSH

All Out War

Aww, isn't the opening guitar pretty? Yeah, it's nic-OH FUCK. It's their first, and you can kinda tell. Karl's voice is weakest on this one, but he's still better than almost anyone else.
MOSH

There's an album of covers, which range from kinda neat (Children of the Grave, Holiday in Cambodia, Earth A.D.) to "I'm gonna listen to 'The Discipline' instead" (Paint it Black) You don't need it.

And now you know about Earth Crisis.

So Here's A Thing

So this is Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears. Black Joe is easily one of the coolest dudes ever, as evidenced by this album, which never ceases to be fantastic for the 30 minutes it runs.

"But why is it fantastic? How can I be sure I'll like it?" you ask, because you are a moron. But even though you are stupid as hell, I'll explain: Black Joe plays dirty, dirty garage soul and blues. These songs are gritty and kinda lo-fi, but in a good way; it sounds like a recording from the '60s. They cover some traditional blues themes: women, being broke, and women, but Joe doesn't word them like the standard--he's not afraid to drop a few (well, maybe more than a few) motherfuckers. The Honeybears are awesome; I dig the horns a lot.

I will sum this album up in a way that is perhaps easier for some people to understand:
Black Joe Lewis=James Brown vocals and horns+dirty Texas Telecaster blues riffs+Rhodes piano+old school production.

If you don't dig that, well, I can't help you. No one can. God have mercy on your soul.

Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears-Tell 'Em What Your Name Is!

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Bonus round!
Here's his self-titled EP. It has 2 songs that are on the album, plus 2 that didn't make it: "Bitch, I Love You," which you can already tell is great from the title (this is Black Joe's version of a slow jam), and "Cousin Randy," an acoustic blues story of Joe's encounter with the devil.

Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears

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P.S., all you kids who go on and on about the Black Keys need this. The Black Keys are really good and all, but man, Joe rocks way the fuck harder.